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HuntlyHammie · Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 8:41 pm Post subject:

Rafa is walking his dog down the road when suddenly a Genie jumps out in from of him and grants him one wish. Rafa says "I wish my dog Nando, could win Crufts". The genie looks down at the dog, noticing just three legs, one eye, no ears and half a tail. The Genie replies "I am not a miracle worker, make another wish". To which Rafa replies " Ok, make Liverpool win the Premiership". The Genie shook his head and said " Giz another look at that fucking dog"

HuntlyHammie · Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:04 pm Post subject:

Why do Hearts fans plant potatoes round the edge of Tynecastle?

So they have Something to lift at the end of the season.

HuntlyHammie · Posted: Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:05 pm Post subject:

What's the difference between a Hibernian fan and a coconut?

You can get a drink out of a coconut!

put it in to make nick feel better

NickMclean · Flanker...I said FLANKER Joined: 11 Jan 2010 Posts: 223

I went to a casino last night and was stood next
to a guy playing Blackjack who kept having win
after win after win. I couldn't believe his luck,
then saw he was stood on what looked like
a bit of bread.

I asked him, "Mate, what's that under your shoe?"

He said. "Shhh! I'm on a roll."

Dominic · Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:56 pm Post subject:

Dominic · Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:02 pm Post subject:

How do you confuse a dickhead??

Forty two. Wednesday.

DiscoDave · Ball boy Joined: 11 Jan 2010 Posts: 12

FIRST TIME SEX
............

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.

The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!'

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.

The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'

The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

TheDecorator · Posted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:34 pm Post subject:

Was up in aberdeen the other week and saw two muslims in a field.

One of of them was busy shagging a sheep.

Told them even in these parts that's fecking sick, to which the other replies.

No, it's islamb!

NickMclean · Flanker...I said FLANKER Joined: 11 Jan 2010 Posts: 223

dom you not enjoy my jokes? lol...

Ruckycarnage · Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 11:35 am Post subject:

Robbie Keane is heading back to Spurs today.

He was only on loan until the end of Celtic's season.

_________________
The Coin of destiny is not your friend and is not to be trusted.

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