Last night i came out of a nightclub and was approached by a thai woman.
She gave me a cheeky wink and said, "Blowjob, £20?" I said, "yeah alright" and lead her into the alley. I soon realised my mistake when she handed me two £10 notes and started pulling up her skirt
I'm just back from holiday in Thailand an d came so close to shagging a lady boy. Looked like a lady, walked like a lady, kissed like a lady! It was when she drove me to her place and reverse parked I though ''Hang on..... _________________ The Coin of destiny is not your friend and is not to be trusted.
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My workmate is so fat when he goes camping, the bears hide their food! _________________ The Coin of destiny is not your friend and is not to be trusted.
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The Seven Dwarfs were marching through the forest one day when they fell in a deep, dark ravine. Snow White, who was following along, peered over the edge of the steep chasm and called out to the fallen dwarfs. From the depths of the dark hole a voice returned, "Rangers are gonna win the league!"
Snow White thought to herself, "Thank God... at least Dopey's survived!"
SEX ON MARS
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after
accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles.
They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have computers, how they make money, etc.
Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.
' Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.
The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the same way you do.' A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another.. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie
member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.
'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen.
'Why?' he asks. 'What's the matter?'
'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough to reach me!'
'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with
his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's
quite impressively long.
'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.'
'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each
pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is
extremely exciting to the woman.
'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fall into bed and make mad, passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their original partners and go their
separate ways. As they walked along, Mike asks, 'Well, was it any good?'
'I hate to say it,' says Maureen, 'but it was wonderful. How about you?'
'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache . She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.' _________________ The Coin of destiny is not your friend and is not to be trusted.
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keith: can i have chicken, cranberry and lettuce on wholemeal please
sandwich guy: i only have mixed leaves, that ok?
k: sure
sg: don't know what happened to the iceberg today...
k: maybe it melted?
I made a romantic meal for Mrs CR and called out, ''Honey, dinner's ready.''
I then heard the moaning of sexual pleasure as she replied ''Mmm,just coming Baby.'' and she let out a giggle. So I walked into the lounge to find her lying naked on the Sofa, stroking her pussy. ''Why don't you make me come?'' she purred.
So I punched her in the face and screamed ''FUCKING DINNER....NOW!!
_________________ The Coin of destiny is not your friend and is not to be trusted.
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